MANOWAR / The Triumph of Steel (1992)

It's easy to laugh at Manowar, but the fact remains that they're unsurpassed at what they do, with a technical ability that leaves me in genuine awe.
TToS opens with a majestic twenty-eight minute Homeric epic (Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy in Eight Parts) chronicling the fight between Hector and Achilles. It has a guitar solo, a piccolo bass solo, a drum solo and Eric Adams doing his warrior thing. It almost makes me wish I had a uterus, so that I could feel it shudder.
The remainder is split between aggressive and quiet but is always 100% Manowar.
It’s arguably the most adventurous album they ever made. It was also drummer Rhino’s only Manowar album; having it on his CV means he'll never be out of work.

Songs of Note: The Demon's Whip; Master of the Wind

4½ marching orders for wimps and posers out of 5

MANOWAR / Kings of Metal (1998)

It's Heavy Metal with a capital H and a capital M. It's also cheesy as hell, but get a good amp and a set of floor-standing speakers and it'll kick your eardrums out your ass. I unashamedly love Manowar, and if you like your Metal traditional, with widdly solos, pounding bass and the loudest drums ever recorded (Guinness book of records agrees), then maybe you will, too. Just remember to have a laugh at yourself once in a while, because it keeps life bearable.
It's rumoured that if you slip into an unwashed loincloth and wave a plastic sword around, it will increase your listening pleasure of Kings of Metal.

WARNING: May cause excessive manliness and a love of leather pants.

Songs of Note:  ALL of them, but try: Wheels of Fire; Hail and Kill first.

5 tales for the grandkids out of 5